“My whole life I have seen therapists, counsellors, psychotherapists and doctors.

No one could help me.

No one could look through my mask.

No one could see what was really going on.

And, maybe even more painfully, no one could see who I am...

Not feeling safe,

Not feeling happy,

Not feeling relaxed,

Not feeling joy,

Not feeling at all,

Only feeling pain. Lots of pain. Physical and mental.

Depression,

suicide thoughts,

suicide plans,

chronic pain,

dissociative,

I have experienced them all.

This all fitted in my life. It was my live. This has been my daily life..         

... That’s all I’ve known for the past 17 years.

Legally I’m not an adult.

The last therapist was in the hospital. My goal was learning to live with pain. I visited her every single week, for eight months. Not even once, did I could feel any emotion, I never cried. I never felt that I could open myself up , that I could share an emotion.

It took the horses and Jenny five minutes:

I was able to cry,

I was able to let go,

I was able to heal.

After just a few sessions, I have healed emotionally,

I have healed physically,

I have let go,

and

I can finally go further in my life without chronic pain.”

Social Worker, Aotearoa